Understanding

Sometimes the most difficult people to understand can be the closest person to us, for me that is my wife, at times the very best I can do still falls short. Sometimes I need to do better, so I need help. The best source of help is always the Word of God

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

Dealing with them with understanding, this passage I thought I knew, however as time goes and my experience deepens a greater understanding develops that can only come with time. As a husband the person I treasure the most is my wife, it hurts me to see her in pain. How does one deal with them with understanding?
From my experience, understanding is trying to hear what is not said, trying to be patient when I don't understand, which is often.

How to be understanding when I don't understand? To find understanding I go to the word of God.
A quick search reveals

And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship
Exodus 31:3

Here a man received wisdom and understanding for knowledge of craftsmanship, here wisdom and understanding comes from the Lord. We can't build a philosophy on one verse, wisdom and understanding comes from the Lord, therefore we must take a deeper and a longer look into the word of God our true and right source.

Wisdom is with aged men, and with length of days, understanding.

Job 12:12

Here Job is answering his critics, he is being tested and Job does not criticise the Lord God.  Here Job is telling his friends that Wisdom and understanding can be found in those that have are experienced life. I get the sense that time is important, and with time experience. You can't learn if you never experience that which is needed to gain understanding. Is time really all that is needed to gain understanding?

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.
Psalm 147:5

His understanding is infinite, understanding comes with time and God gives us understanding and wisdom.

King Solomon received his wisdom from God, God asked Solomon what he wanted and

At Gibeon the appeared to Solomon in a dream by night; and God said, “Ask! What shall I give you?” And Solomon said: “You have shown great mercy to Your servant David my father, because he walked before You in truth, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with You; You have continued this great kindness for him, and You have given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day. Now, O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. And Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people, too numerous to be numbered or counted. Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”
I Kings 3:5-9


Here Solomon receives his wisdom from God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
Proverbs 3:5

Here we are told to trust in God. It seems that the best way to gain understanding we need to lean on God.

So to understand I need to learn to lean on God's understanding and trust him more.

Write and tell us about times you have needed to trust God and when you pushed into God.

Signing of Peter